Serial Dating 101

Not having been on a dating website in forever, much less dating at all, I browsed one for a few days. It never fails. I seem to attract the stalker, or the now "serial dater". A more politically correct term for serial dater would the infamous "player"! There's so many people out there, men and women, who engage in this process of systematically dating an obscene amount of people in a short span of time. There's no limitation whatsoever when it comes to serial dating, including Internet dating, long distance flirtation, phone service dating, blind dating, bar dating, match making, one night stands, friends with benefits and personal ad surfing. How can people find their mate with insatiable amounts of dating with no real intention of finding true love? Dating. It's over-freakin' rated.

What Women Want

Being desired is extremely arousing for women. The reason for that is that being desired means that a man doesn't just want to have sex. He wants to have sex with you. If you look at how women behave and what they spend their time, energy and lots of money on, it's on desire-creating behaviors rather than on try to get sex.

One of the most common fantasies when it comes to women and sex is to be dominated by a desirable man. The fantasy only holds if you're attracted to the man who is dominating you. It's not about coercion or violence. When women talk about domination, what they're trying to communicate is 'I was so wanted by someone I wanted'.

One of the most complicated aspects of female desire is that women want different things at different times. Women are complicated but I don't think they're confused. They want to be desired sometimes. Sometimes they also just want sex. They want a combination of things. It's like a 'mating' game.

And speaking of the 'mating' game.....there's alot in a kiss. You're seeing, smelling, touching, tasting and hearing. All of your senses are engaged. During a kiss, different regions are our brains are stimulated. Euphoria, elation, focused attention. The first kiss is the beginning of a long, wonderful relationship or the end of it. You can learn alot from a kiss!

What do women want? To be desired.

January 20, 2009

There seems to be a different level of consciousness in our country. I'm experiencing a level of inspiration (politically that is) that I have only ever heard about when my mom reflects back to when John F. Kennedy was President. I, now, am experiencing that same feeling of unity, gratitude and inspiration.

Today Barack Obama will become the 44th President of the United States of America. This event, no matter what political spectrum you may be a part of, proves that America is the land of opportunity. He will be the first president to lay his hand on the same bible that Abraham Lincoln used in 1861 and will be the first half African American to occupy the White House that was built by the hands of slaves and the free.

What is important is moving forward. If we're inspired, then we will see change. President Obama cannot do it alone. This is for all of us to do together. We are the "change".

Moral Philosophy

Reading any kind of self-help books is not my kind of reading, but this book caught my eye, a book about ethical principles. It made me realize at how society itself has become so diluted with how to respect others. Putting all religious purposes aside, The Golden Rule, "treat others as you want to be treated." It's an ethical code that people just don't seem to practice anymore. Anybody attempting to live by this rule treats all people with consideration.

Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. Udana-Varga 5:18

Is College Really Worth It?

College after college have told students that getting that college diploma is supposed to be the ticket to the good life. Politicians have been saying it too. Many students have been promised that a college education will get you a job. Lots of people are misinformed and are lead down this path of needing to go to college to get a good job. The college diploma is the new high school diploma. The Bachelor's Degree, it's become America's most overrated product. When our parents had bachelor's degrees it was a big deal. Today it's a hunting license for a job. On an average many successful college students would have been successful whether they went to college or not.

Think twice when taking on debt for college. College is a good thing for kids who have the grades for being doctors and lawyers but others should reassess the value of a generic Bachelor's Degree. A degree from a college determines how successful you are? I don't think so. It's often smarter to acquire specific marketable skills at a community college, a technical school or work as an apprentice for some business. That seems to make you more employable. Vocational school pays off for many. Electricians make an average $48k a year, a plumber $47k. That's more than the average American earns! But some people look down on vocational schools. It's just a fact that a degree from a four year college is considered first class and a vocational school degree is not. We are such a status driven society in American. Is your debt worth the status? Is your Bachelor's Degree giving you a ticket to the good life?

The 411 on Blogging

There's all kinds of blogs out there on the worldwide web. The most common is the personal blog, to which I take pride in what I write, even if my blog is never read by anyone but myself and a couple of followers. Blogs often become more than a way to just communicate; they become a way to reflect on life. It also gives us the right of "Freedom of Speech without any hindrance of expression of oneself and ones opinions." I love to write, been writing for years, therefore I blog. It's a hobby and what I'm doing is completely benign. I would never post anything I wouldn't say in person given the right time, place and subject matter. This woman shoots from the hip and speaks from the heart.

What’s the point of blogging? I become so engrossed in standing on my personal soap box that I forget others are listening to them or just happen to come across them to which I have nothing to hide as previously said "I would never post anything I wouldn't say in person". By taking the possible impact of my posts into consideration, I'm less likely to say something inconsiderate or offensive as of lately I've been quite rude and inconsiderate due to health issues (chronic back pain). Others may still take offense, especially if I'm saying something negative, but they’re less likely to retaliate if I rephrase my remarks politely. Note that this rule only helps me to otherwise practice prudence and restraint with regard to the subjects of my blogs.

~Me

I'm Going to Denver

We all get at least one good wish a year...over the candles on our birthday cake. Some of us throw in more...on eyelashes, fountains, lucky stars and every now and then one of those wishes comes true. So what then? Is it as good as we had hoped? Do we bask in the warm glow of our happiness or do we just notice that we've got a long list of other wishes waiting to be wished? We don't wish for the easy stuff. We wish for the big things. Things that are ambitious and out of reach. We wish because we need help and we're scared and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish though, because sometimes they come true.

Kiss and Don't Tell Part 3

I have moved the couch!

Kiss and Don't Tell Part 2

It really wasn't tricky sharing my space at all. It felt good to have company, something that I haven't experienced in twelve years. Yes, twelve years! That number of years makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me. How can I be so selective when it comes to relationships is beyond me. I haven't quite figured it out. Maybe I will in the next twelve years to come.

As of now, the couch has been moved (but it was moved weeks ago), but I don't feel like doing laundry or going back to life as usual. However silly this may sound, I feel like I'm in mourning.

Power Dynamics

Power dynamics. From the earliest age, we grow up with them. Parent/child. Teacher/student. But as we get older, relationships become more complicated, less easily defined. We would like to image equality amongst friends, with spouses. Are we just fooling ourselves? You tell me, in the Dance of Life is it possible to have two equal partners or does someone always have to take the lead?

We are the daughters of a feminist movement. Taught from an early age that nothing can stop us. That we can rise as high and achieve as much as any man and in some ways that's true, we have taken great strides stepping over traditional gender roles and going after and getting exactly what we want. But part of being powerful is knowing when to take the back seat and look at life from another prospective. The thing is that in a relationship there is no CEO. It's a delicate dance, a push and pull, a back and forth, an up and down, but we endure because at the end of the day we don't want to go it alone. And when we find someone, a partner, we compromise, loving everything we can and putting blinders on to everything else, because love isn't perfect but it's the really great imperfect love that keeps us evolving, happy. In the end, isn't that what life's all about?