Kiss and Don't Tell Part 3

I have moved the couch!

Kiss and Don't Tell Part 2

It really wasn't tricky sharing my space at all. It felt good to have company, something that I haven't experienced in twelve years. Yes, twelve years! That number of years makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me. How can I be so selective when it comes to relationships is beyond me. I haven't quite figured it out. Maybe I will in the next twelve years to come.

As of now, the couch has been moved (but it was moved weeks ago), but I don't feel like doing laundry or going back to life as usual. However silly this may sound, I feel like I'm in mourning.

Power Dynamics

Power dynamics. From the earliest age, we grow up with them. Parent/child. Teacher/student. But as we get older, relationships become more complicated, less easily defined. We would like to image equality amongst friends, with spouses. Are we just fooling ourselves? You tell me, in the Dance of Life is it possible to have two equal partners or does someone always have to take the lead?

We are the daughters of a feminist movement. Taught from an early age that nothing can stop us. That we can rise as high and achieve as much as any man and in some ways that's true, we have taken great strides stepping over traditional gender roles and going after and getting exactly what we want. But part of being powerful is knowing when to take the back seat and look at life from another prospective. The thing is that in a relationship there is no CEO. It's a delicate dance, a push and pull, a back and forth, an up and down, but we endure because at the end of the day we don't want to go it alone. And when we find someone, a partner, we compromise, loving everything we can and putting blinders on to everything else, because love isn't perfect but it's the really great imperfect love that keeps us evolving, happy. In the end, isn't that what life's all about?

Surprise, Surprise

We all know how unsettling change can sometimes be, especially when we learn something about a person we don't want to know. Can knowing too much be a deal breaker? In a relationship is it better to be an open book or are some things better left unread?

There's an old saying "what you don't know can't hurt you." But is that really true or can the things not said today haunt you tomorrow? Everyone knows that truth can be painful but it can also set you free. It's a risk you take whenever you open yourself to someone. I, for one, think honesty is worth it. And who knows, you just might be pleasantly surprised.

New Dogs, Old Tricks

Matters of the heart. We all have emotional boundaries we set for ourselves, but all too often, we cross them. But with authority and repetition, we can train animals to think and act a certain way, but what about when it comes to ourselves? Can we train our emotions to sit and stay?

The mind is a funny thing. It's a place from which everything emanates, yet no one can access anyone else's which means that we've got to communicate. With animals we use only the most straightforward language...words like "sit", "stay", "no." But between one another, things quickly get complicated. What we say is not always what we mean and at times we have to fight through mixed messages or start all over again. But no matter how hard it is and how often we feel misunderstood, it's our responsibility to keep fighting for clarity because in the end we teach people how to treat us...which means the responsibilty to communicate lies not on the shoulder of others but on ourselves.

Kiss and Don't Tell

It seems that everyone is taking in a guest these days. It’s a tricky thing sharing your space whether by choice or circumstance. We all want to bend over backwards to make our guest feel at home but what happens when our home stops being our own? How do you find space for yourself? It is possible to let someone in and still keep your distance?

Opening your door to someone is in many ways like opening your heart. It’s not always easy. Some of us aren’t used to opening up. It can hurt, but we do what we can for our guests. We try to be hospitable, giving them whatever they desire. Sometimes all you can do is help them feel better while they wait to return home and soon enough the guest is gone leaving us to move the couch, do the laundry, go back to our lives as usual….if that’s possible. But what happens if you don’t want to move the couch, do laundry and go back to life as usual?

Wander Lust

Travel is good for the soul. It opens your eyes and takes your mind and body to new places. But what about the people who stay behind? How can we trust that you won’t be seduced by these new sights and sounds? If you set something you love free, can you really trust that it will come back to you?

I think we're born with a desire to roam the earth. We crawl, then walk, then run all in an effort to move further away then where we came from. Changing one’s surrounding is good for the heart. And now I also know that sometimes staying home and letting others go can be its own fantastic journey. Because when you let go of something, you make room for something else entirely. Something you never expected. Something that makes home seem like its own unexpected adventure, a trip where new treasures are found around every old corner, where the world and its complexities come right to your doorstep. Because in the end the power is not just with those who go away, but also in what they leave behind.