Secret Sex

How many of us out there are having sex with people that we are ashamed to introduce to our friends and/or family? Is secret sex the ultimate form of intimacy since it existed in a pure state exempt from the judgment of the world or is it just another way in which we deny our feelings and emotionally compartmentalize our lives?

Have you ever felt like you were in a niche? Certain events? Certain restaurants? Certain people? Like you were a particular fragment of the kind of person someone thinks they should be dating versus secret sex?


July 11, 2007

Twenty-Somethings

Are they scattered and unfocused? I guess at that age they always know the important "B" people. Busboys, bouncers and bartenders.

Men in their 40s are like the Sunday crossword puzzle. Tricky, complicated and you're never really sure you got the right answer.

Are men in their 20s the new designer drug? Older women are attracted to them for various reasons but I can't help what they see in us. What's really going on here is S-E-X. Good old fashion, eager to please, do what I tell you to do Eagle Scout sex.

OK. So you wake up wanting more or maybe not. In the morning light things look completely different. Candles from Urban Outfitter, dirty laundry strewn all over the place, an empty pizza box and the dreaded...no toilet paper. Suddenly reality hits. You're in a 20-somethings apartment! Every fiber in your body is telling you "You're too old for this! Get out!"

This is an interesting chapter in ones life, the 40-something life. Outgrowing the boys of the past and not quite grown into the men of the future. Undoubtedly men are like drugs. At times they can bring you down and at other times they can get you so high. 


SATC





June 27, 2007

"Poor Single You" Looks. Loser, Leper, Whore!

Why does a 30-40 something single female, never married, no children, considered or thought of as possibly gay? When does single translate into being gay?

Why don't I like being single? Family functions when you're the only one that's not married and they sit you at the kids table or when two people eat off of the same fork, awww. Another time I dislike being single is when married friends and friends in general "surprise" fix you up or in the term that I use "pimp" you out.

Sifting through the rubble of my marriage skirmish, I had a thought. Are married people the enemy? Is there a single cold war between married and single? Maybe the fight between the married and single is like the war in Northern Ireland. They were all basically the same but somehow wound up on different sides. Maybe the cold war isn't about hate. Maybe it's about fear, fear of the unknown. Married people don't hate singles. They just want us figured out.

It's circumstantial that I'm single.






June 26, 2007
2:27 pm
SATC

When Being Correct is Incorrect....

Always finding fault with others can be very tiring and damaging. Stop seething over how right you are and focus instead on having a good time.

How can the words "extraordinary" woman, be used in the same sentence as "you suck"?

June 5, 2007

The Mysteries of Love and Lust

Across the room you see a handsome stranger. He smiles. You smile. Before you know it, you've fallen. Over the next few weeks he explodes into your world. Friends and family are demoted. You think about him constantly. You in a delirious state. Except, that is, when you're plunged into despair because he forgets to call.

Why does one handsome stranger make your heart pound while another leaves you cold?

Such a mystery which is just as bewildering as trying to read between the lines.

May 17, 2007

Dare To Be Different

Somebody doesn't like you? Good. No one ever made an impact on the world without standing out from the crowd. So embrace your unique qualities. They're what makes you unforgettable.

Most of us are afraid to be controversial or even to be intensely who we are. We're like lemonade with too much water in it and too few lemons. We dilute our "flavor" so we won't offend anyone. And in the process we give away our power, the essence of who we are that makes us unique and unforgettable.

The world belongs not to the one who fits in but to the one who stands out. In music, art, entertainment, business, etc., it's the maverick, the one who gets "carried away", who wins the day. OK, so you may not want to rule the world, but to get whatever it is you do want, the principle is the same...be unabashedly yourself.


May 17, 2007

The First Kiss

For the first kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch, you feel it every where. A kiss so hot, so deep, you never want to come up for air.

You can't cheat that first kiss.....




May 6, 2007

Not Good at Saying Sorry?

Remember when we were little and we would "accidentally" bit a kid on the playground? Our teacher would tell us to "say you're sorry". And we would say it but we wouldn't mean it, because the stupid kid we bit totally deserved it! But as we get older, making a mends isn't so simple. After the playground days are over, you can't just say it. You have to mean it.

I'm sorry doesn't always cut it, maybe because we use always use it in so many different ways, as a weapon, as an excuse. But when we're really sorry, when we use it right....when we mean it or where actions say what words can't., when we get it right, "I'm sorry" works perfect. When we get it right 'I'm sorry' is redemption.

Serial Dating 101

Not having been on a dating website in forever, much less dating at all, I browsed one for a few days. It never fails. I seem to attract the stalker, or the now "serial dater". A more politically correct term for serial dater would the infamous "player"! There's so many people out there, men and women, who engage in this process of systematically dating an obscene amount of people in a short span of time. There's no limitation whatsoever when it comes to serial dating, including Internet dating, long distance flirtation, phone service dating, blind dating, bar dating, match making, one night stands, friends with benefits and personal ad surfing. How can people find their mate with insatiable amounts of dating with no real intention of finding true love? Dating. It's over-freakin' rated.

What Women Want

Being desired is extremely arousing for women. The reason for that is that being desired means that a man doesn't just want to have sex. He wants to have sex with you. If you look at how women behave and what they spend their time, energy and lots of money on, it's on desire-creating behaviors rather than on try to get sex.

One of the most common fantasies when it comes to women and sex is to be dominated by a desirable man. The fantasy only holds if you're attracted to the man who is dominating you. It's not about coercion or violence. When women talk about domination, what they're trying to communicate is 'I was so wanted by someone I wanted'.

One of the most complicated aspects of female desire is that women want different things at different times. Women are complicated but I don't think they're confused. They want to be desired sometimes. Sometimes they also just want sex. They want a combination of things. It's like a 'mating' game.

And speaking of the 'mating' game.....there's alot in a kiss. You're seeing, smelling, touching, tasting and hearing. All of your senses are engaged. During a kiss, different regions are our brains are stimulated. Euphoria, elation, focused attention. The first kiss is the beginning of a long, wonderful relationship or the end of it. You can learn alot from a kiss!

What do women want? To be desired.