Forever Young

 
There comes a point in our life when we're officially an adult.  Suddenly we're old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities.  Suddenly people expect us to be responsible, serious and grown-up.  We get taller.  We get older, but do we ever really grow up?

In some ways we grow up.  We get married.  We have families.  We get divorced.  But for the most part we can still have the same problems that we did when we were 15.  No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling, forever wondering...forever young. 

The Past

Life would be so good if we could just freeze moments in time.  The time when we were happy, when we knew we were loved, but we can't.  Instead we find ourselves retracing footsteps that may have washed away.  We fight to remember our connections even as time wipes our slate clean.  We strive to make new connections that we hope time will indulge.  When communication fails, words remain behind.  Proof that we're here, that we mattered, that someone cared.  In the end, the past may be all we have.

Patience

It's a hard thing - patience.  But when something means enough to you, whether you're waiting to regain your past or start your future, patience is critical.  So what, in your life, is worth waiting for?

They say patience is a virtue and like most virtues, we never now if we possess it until it's been tested.  If we're lucky, we have someone to take that test with us and if we can pass that test, if we can wait long enough, we just might find the reward greater than we ever expected.

The funny thing about waiting is it always seems the more we want something the longer we have to wait for it.  Deciding to wait out the long haul shouldn't be taken lightly, but it's an easier decision to live with than others.

 

Man

In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth, at least that's what they say.  He created the birds of the air and the beasts of the field and he looked at this creation and he saw that it was good.  And then God created man and it's been downhill ever since.  The story goes on to say that God created man in his own image but there's not much proof of that.  After all, God made the sun, the moon and the stars and all man makes is trouble...and when man finds himself in trouble, which is most of the time, he turns to something bigger than himself to love or fate or religion to make sense of it all.  Bitter?  No.  Confused?  When it comes to man, absofuckinglutely.  And man says they don't understand woman?

Regret: Past, Present, Future

Regret is a funny thing.  You try your best in life to avoid it but sometimes it's the hard things in life that teach us the most, which makes you wonder, if given a chance, how many of us would do things differently?

For some, regret is the very thing that helps us push past our fear and move into the future.  For others it's the thing that allows us to re-explore our past.  At its best regret can be the catalyst for new beginnings where anything and everything is still possible.

The Wizard of Oz

Movie magic.  There's something about sitting in a dark theater that lets you escape the reality of your own life and live in the fantasy of someone else's story.  What if the cameras were turned on you?  In the movie of your life do you like what you see? 

We all love to lose ourselves in a good movie.  When I was a girl I loved the Wizard of Oz especially the moment when Dorothy opens the door into that fantastic world.  But once Dorothy appreciated how bright and beautiful everything was, she realized she had a bit of a mess on her hands.  One of the classic examples of "be careful what you wish for".  Spend five minutes in a fantasy and you just might find yourself wishing your old life back.  We miss what's right in front of us when we're busy looking over the rainbow.  Sometimes it takes stepping into someone else's world to realize how much you love the life you have.  No matter how magical the movies are, at the end of the day there's no place like home. 

Avoid Dating a Sociopath

Sociopaths are common in today's dating scene. You may even be dating one right now! According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSMMD) a sociopath is "a person with a psychopathic personality who's behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense or moral responsibility or social conscience." But how does sociopath behavior manifest itself?

1. Sociopaths lie....A LOT. They're usually very believable liars and rarely tell the truth. They aren't concerned with what's real or truthful and that makes it easier for them to deceive you.
2. Sociopaths lack remorse or guilt. They don't have empathy for other people's feelings. They don't take responsibility for their actions or accept blame.
3. Sociopaths are incapable of feeling real love. Because sociopaths make more enemies than friends, they don't give or receive love easily. Their deceit usually runs in their relationships.
4. Sociopaths are irresponsible. They're usually unreliable and often oblivious to the harm or disappointment they cause others.
5. Sociopaths are impulsive. They often exhibit behaviors of promiscuity, infidelity, alcohol abuse, yada, yada.

Are you dating a sociopath?

Happy People

It's a common belief that positive thinking leads to a happier healthier life. As children we're told to smile and be cheerful and put on a happy face. As adults we're told to look on the bright side, to make lemonade and see glasses as half full. Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part. Your health can fail, boyfriends can cheat, friends can disappoint. It's in these moments when you just want to get real, drop the act and be your true scared unhappy self. Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer's simple...to be happy. Maybe it's this expectation of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try and will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get to the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling trying like hell to be the happy people we wish we were, until eventually it hits us. It's been there all along. Not in our dreams and hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar....

Soul Mates

Soul mate. Two little words. One big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere is holding the key to your heart. All you have to do is find them. So, where is this person? And if you loved someone and it didn't work out, does that mean they weren't ever your soul mate? Were they just a runner up contestant in this game show called Happily Ever After? And as you move from age box to age box on a dating service application and the contestants get fewer and fewer, are your chances of finding your soul mate less and less? 

As I sit here alone thinking and writing, I start to feel really sad. I dislike myself for saying this but it felt really sad not to have a man in my life who genuinely cares about me. No special person to wish me happy birthday. No special person to rescue me when I need to be rescued. No damn soul mate and I don't even know if I believe in soul mates.
Soul mates. Reality or torture device?

September 3, 2007